Hello, all!
First of all, please allow me to introduce myself. I am an Aspie mom to 2 amazing boys, one with Asperger's, and one with mid-functioning autism. I also have an incredibly sweet step son with ADHD, a hubby with ADHD, and a neurotic dog...
I first began my journey into the wild and wacky world of ASD's in October, 2006, when Tyler, now 9, was 4 years old. At the time I was working in collections at Telus Mobility, and he was barely into his second month of junior kindergarten. Every day he went to school it was a nightmare when my mom or I picked him up...he was always "misbehaving", it would seem. His teacher took me aside one day (right in front of him though), and proceeded to tell me that Tyler was "the rudest, brashest, most un-cooperative, non-compliant, angry little boy she ever met", and how she was at a loss with how to deal with him. Needless to say, I was shocked! He told her he was a good boy, to which she replied "Well, if you ARE a good boy, you make very bad choices!" She suggested I call Kinark, and so it began...
The first place I was referred to was New Path Youth and Family Services. After my initial assessment and consultation with them, I was informed that they just so happened to have a program starting the next week for kids his age that were having difficulty adjusting to school life..it was called Dinosaur School.
The next week, we headed there apprehensive, but hopeful. I had no idea what to expect. Thanks be to God, he LOVED it, and couldn't wait to go back the next week! Not too many classes after, the teacher of the parenting class I was attending at the same time, took me aside and asked if I had ever had him tested. I had no idea for what! She said the resource teacher in Dinosaur School noticed he was displaying all the classic symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome! She then proceeded to tell me how to go about getting him tested.
Step one, was taking Tyler out of school. His testing would be free if he was not attending school full-time. This, I had NO problem with whatsoever...I was happy to say goodbye to that horrible teacher! Next I placed him in Sunshine Nursery School. Along the way I met Tyler's angel of a resource teacher, Karen (who incidentally I am still in contact with to this day) who was my Godsend. She took me to all of his appts, was the resource teacher for him at pre-school, and often drove us home, helped me with all the paperwork, and offered a warm shoulder to cry on when it was just too much for me to take.
The timing was right, as he was tested and diagnosed by January, 2007! Indeed, he had Asperger's. As soon as it was mentioned to me, I had immediately gone into research mode (I am a total research nerd), and printed literally hundreds of sheets of info on the disorder for myself, my ex (his father), and my family. I discovered a lot of striking similarities to myself in the process...I decided to specifically research Asperger's in girls. Well if it didn't describe me to a "T"!!!!! Finally my world, my past, my horribly lonely childhood, were all starting to make sense!
In the meantime, between working full time in a very stressful and demanding job (it is amazing how unbelievably cruel and nasty people can be when you cut off their cell phones for non-payment), and all of the appts for Tyler, I lost it. I had a nervous breakdown, and went on stress leave from work. During all of the many psychological assessments for myself that followed, it was determined that I had Asperger's, severe panic disorder and PTSD, agoraphobia and was bi-polar. Wow. What an insane amount of information for one brain to process in the span of a few short months!
Over the next few years, school was still a daily struggle for Tyler. I would dread every time the phone rang, and was on a first name basis with the principal and several staff member of the school...Finally, after trying whatever therapy I could afford and had access to, I relented and made an appt with the developmental pediatrician to find out about medication. We had tried all of the supplements, vitamins and diets. None of them worked. Finally, we got him on Zoloft, and the difference it made was like night and day! I no longer dread going to the school. They all love him, and he is one of the most popular students there! Finally, they all got to see the wonderful, loving, sweet, funny little boy I call my Angel!!!
Part two of the saga began somewhere in between all of these events. After Rob and I split up, things were hard for both Tyler and me. When he was 4, a few months after his diagnosis, we got a new neighbour upstairs. Turns out he had a little boy only a year older than Tyler, and they became instant friends. Whenever he visited his dad (every two weeks), he was at my place. I grew to be quite fond of him, even though I wasn't sure of his dad AT ALL!!!
Skipping all the parts in between, his dad and I finally ended up getting together, and he moved in with us. Two years later, along came our 9 week premature miracle, AJ. They were watching him from the start, esp with his brother and I already being on the spectrum, and his father's disorder as well. Nonetheless, we were hopeful that it would somehow "skip" him...I knew in my heart from a very early age that it wasn't going to happen. Mike tried to tell me I was being paranoid, and that I was seeing things that weren't there. When he was about 18 mths old, they finally referred him to speech and occupational therapy. I expressed my concerns to them over the next few months over his odd behaviour, his lack of words, eye contact, and direct expression....they agreed. By two he was also diagnosed as being on the spectrum: he has mid-functioning autism. I was devastated. Mike still denies it at times, and other times blames me for his disorder:(
I am so thankful that in the midst of all of this, my best friend Patty moved in across the road. From the moment I met her daughter, I knew she was on the spectrum too. Sure enough, she was given the same diagnosis as AJ (just a few months before he was). This has made us as close as sisters, and it is so wonderful to have someone right there to share the journey with! She is my rock, and I am hers. Our kids are two peas in a pod, best friends and thick as thieves!
So, that is my story. In this blog I will share stories of life with Autism, and some humorous anecdotes of our daily existence, along with how frustrating it can be. Please feel free to add any stories you wish to share also!
Love, light and blessings,
Maria
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